Alternitive dating

any alternitives to dating apps and going outside?

2020.07.15 00:57 Cult-ImaginOfReddit any alternitives to dating apps and going outside?

ive found that using dating apps havent really been my thing,ive used tons and can never get anywhere. and going outside isnt a option right now so im woundering if there is any alternitives,like are online games specificly for dating a thing? if not what elds can i do
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2020.04.24 21:16 dedication1 Need help slow internet attic

So the internet download speed downstairs is around 95 MB/s. I use an TP-Link - PA411 from my modem to the attic. The internet of my PC upstairs is around 15 to 20 MB/s . It's wired.
I also have a wirless usb adapter for my pc. The internet speed I get with that is even worse.
I connected my smartphone to the wifi upstairt and did the speed test. I got like 70 MB/s. is my wify adapter bad? TP-Link Archer T3U - Wifi-Adapter
Is there anyway to improve this speed? Or is there an alternitive?
EDIT: So I fixed it but is am still not sure what the problem was.
I did update my drivers on my WIRELESS USB ADAPTER. now i have 90 mb downloadspeed upstairs!! YEAh. But doest this maybe have something to do with update to windows 10??
Because my wired internet adapters still give slow internet. Could it be possible that they are not combatible with windows 10 for some reason? I did instal the most up to date drivers!
submitted by dedication1 to HomeNetworking [link] [comments]

2019.08.01 23:35 Miche808 Do I have any ability to stay a week longer in my apartment an extra week until after a medical test??? *Disability and Eviction Question*

Hoping to get some advice, I live in Ottawa Ontario.
My husband was hired by a property management company as a live-in superintendent over a month ago and was randomly terminated without cause on the 24th of July. He was given a week to move out, although no time was specificified when hired, and no time limitations are noted in the employee handbook. When he was terminated he was asked to sign his termination letter, which he thought said that by the 31st of July, to provide for written extension for us to move out if we needed to do so (again, with no limitation) so we did. We provided a written letter of extension on the 31st as we needed until the 16th of August to move out. They are now telling us a week is all that is available, and that we need to be out by the 8th of August or we will face court. He was never given a physical copy, or otherwise of his termination letter and was unable to verify the date and we are now being told it was the 29th of July for this extension.
My general conflic is, I have a disability. I have been seeking medical treatment and the company has been aware of this. I have signed documents saying they are aware I live full-time in the building with my husband. I have been able to secure alternitive living arrangements for the 16th, but have a very expensive and long awaited (6months+) medical test taking place on the 9th of August which I cannot rechedule. It is very invasive and will put me out for 2-3 days due to recovery, and could even leave me being admitted depending how I react to the procedure. I am unable to move, cancell or delay this test, however now that I am facing homelessness the night before the test (which is funny enough for a stress disorder- Addisons Disease), and am not into our new home until the 16th.. wonder if I have any options??
The last company he worked for, for over two years, never had me fill out paperwork like this company did to say that I was a tennent and resident of the building, and only had me fill out paperwork to say I was a 'guest' as me being a tennent with a disability, we were told it limited them from terminating him and providing anything less than a month to move out.
I was hoping this was indeed correct information, as we did only get it from his last employer. They were a larger company in Ottawa, but I did want to check and make sure that was actually true.
I suppose I am asking.. what are our options if any?? I even offered to pay from the 8th-16th as moving before my test is impossible... and yet they refused saying they would get the athorities involved if we were not out.
I am looking for any insight and advice as, I am not wanting to squat, and wouldn't normally do this sort of thing and ask someone to give me more time.. it's just in this delicate health situation I feel I am totally screwed and have no where to turn.
Any advice would be majorly helpful in regards to if I actually have any rights or whatnot in this situation. I don't want to be recovering from medical tests on the side of the road.
Thank you so much everyone!
submitted by Miche808 to legaladvicecanada [link] [comments]

2019.02.26 03:09 NagisaLynne "No, I won't buy you prom tickets because the school won't let you go"

Now I can't link the screenshots I took to post here (for some reason) but you need the context to understand the story.
I've known "J" for a long time. We met on swim team when we were younger and becane friends. Now my family didn't like him because he was annoying. (Because he is) He didn't have many friends because of it and most of his friends were out of pity. I digress, he manipulated people into doing what he wants them to. That's how he got so many friends. Because of this I dated him for about 6-ish months before breaking it off.
I went to an online school and they had a spring dance/prom. My sister "S" invited J's older brother. If I didn't take J it would have looked bad since we were "still friends" at the time. We went it didn't suck but I wished I was with someone else obviously.
Lately we grew further apart and I told my friend what I really thought about him. He started angerily texting me days after. Turns out she told him after he practically beat it out of her. She apologized so much thinking he wouldn't come after me.
He now attends my school (lucky me)
So now we are all up to date. Today he sat with me and a friend at a retesting day on campus. (since we are online all tests and re-takes have to be taken on campus) He texts me hours after I got home the following:
J is him. Me is me
J: Hey Me: Hey J: You're hair was cool today, when did you dye it Me: A while back J: It looked good Me: Thanks J:Ofc
I can tell he doesn't care and probably want's something from me.
J: So apparently non full-time students can't bye tickets to that dance in the spring. If I find a date or something, would you be able to bye the tickets for me?
Me: You're not a part time student though. You're hybrid. Even S can buy tickets.
(Hybrid means you go to 2 schools for different classes. Part time means you take one class because you failed it at your other school and it's the alternitive to summer school)
J: Yeah according to the principal I can't. we found out bc I wanted to go to the Mario Kart/Smash Bros tournament but I wasn't allowed to bc I'm not full time. then we asked about the dance
Me: Is this a new thing or an old thing
J: I'm taking 5/6 classes at [redacted school name] just let me go
Me: Take it up with the school I know just as much as you do
J: Apparently there's so many part time students that they don't want to let any of them in
(We have 500 student including part timers. We have about 100 full time and that too many people for the size of the school we have but thankfully about 30%-40% people don't go.)
J: I did. I'll ask about the dance again though.
Me: Oh okay
J: If it ends up not happening... if I gave you money would you be able to buy tickets for me?
Me: You have to come to the dance with a full time student
(Obviously I refuse to go with him or be an escort and my sister had a falling out with J's brother the day of the dance and she ended up dancing with her now boyfriend because J's brother didn't want to dance with her. A whole other drama that deserves it's own story.)
J: Yeah ik I was wondering if a full time student could buy more than 2 tickets.
Me: You can't invite yourself to the dance...
J: Why not? J: We can SAY that you invited me. We don't actually have to be together
Me: They already don't want you to come because you're not full time you can't not have a date that's full time. Me: I'm not getting in trouble for this.
J: Why would you? it literally cannot be an issue. There's nothing against you buying tickets under your name. we could still go with you. and if you find a date, we could go as a group like last year. J: There's nothing that says you can't take more than one person J: It would be under your name either way. I'll just give you the money
Me: Look, how bad would it seem if I had a date but I bought a ticket for another boy? Me: And I will get in trouble because I would be literally dealing tickets Me: I won't bring another boy without a date on my date. I'd look like a tart
J: Um not if you buy tickets for a couple. then it wouldn't be weird at all J: Buying tickets under your own name isn't dealing tickets. it's taking a larger group. J: And we wouldn't have to hang out with you. J: If you wouldn't want if your concerned about it being weird J: It would be your choice
Me: Look I refuse to buy tickets for people that aren't already allowed to go to the dance. If you do get a date you won't have issues getting tickets. Please stop asking
J: Ok that's fine. you could have just said “no” tbh. J: Sooo how's life?
I haven't replied I'm too angry to be polite. The fact he want's to continue a passive conversation after he tried to get me to illegally sell him tickets for an event the school didn't invite is beyond me.
TL;DR: Boy I use to date 2 years ago moves to my school, the school won't let him go to the school dance because he doesn't take all his classes there and tries to get me to pay for tickets and reimburse me so he can go without a date in which he'll probably annoy me any my date.
submitted by NagisaLynne to VoiceyHere [link] [comments]

2019.02.13 18:20 wentworth0j Me(F18) and BF (M18) have issues about lack of motivation, HELP!

Hello! I really need some advice as this could involve my future involving college, renting an apartment. This might be a throwaway account, not sure, I really like Reddit.

Me and my boyfriend have been dating since summer of 2017, and we've known each other since we were little kids. We are long distance, about 3 hours, I am in foster care and my future means a lot to me since I've wanted to have a normal life since my mother passed away when I was 13. My boyfriend lives in my hometown, where I lived until my mother died, then I had to move a lot after that. The town means so much to me that I wanted to go to college there and live there while I study. My Bf has lived there his whole life. I visit him every Saturday not only because I get to see him, I get to visit the place I love so much, so I have no problem going back and forth to go there. I absolutely hate the town I'm currently living in with my foster mom so I've wanted to leave since I got there.
Me and my BF thought it would be great if we lived together when we graduated high school. So we decided that while I attend college I'll help out with some rent while he gets a full time job to pay for the rest. For the past year, I have been collecting stuff for our future place with my allowance and random money I get along the way, almost anything we'd need, towels, cleaning supplies, blankets, sheets, anything. I have even collected some furniture. However, my BF, has only gotten us a bar of soap, he says that he's too poor to buy things like I do (Which is fine, but I say even more soap or towels etc would be nice). I also am the one buying us food when I visit or snacks, which he has expressed that he feels bad because I am always the one buying us food. I have also saved up a ton of money for when I do move out and will be getting some help with rent from foster care.
The issue that brought this up was relating to his school. He's in a continuation school, and I am in a normal high school, so he is able to graduate much earlier than I am. He told me at the beginning of the school year that he will get a job when he graduates, which he initionally said was going to be October, then it became November, then December, the he tells me tat his old school didn't transfer his old credits, so he stays another month, and here is February. I was lenient at first but I told him that if he can't get a job, then I'm sorry but I'm going to have to find a foster house in the town I'm going to move to without him. He has looked into jobs and looked on websites (I've even tried helping him, but he is picky about where he works because he can't lift more than 30 pounds and he doesn't like working with people). He lost interest and just stopped looking altogether. During his free time he's either sleeping or playing on the PS4. Which I wouldn't have a problem with if he was actually getting things done. Last weekend his neighbor (an older man who is nice to him) brought him to his work for a job fair but I'm pretty sure my BF bombed it. The night before when I visited he didn't have a resume created or anything, just willing to wing it. I tried offering some advice because I'm in a career connections class about job interviews but he said he'll be fine. The next day he said he made a resume and dropped it off, and that they'll call him in a few weeks. My BF was also telling me this past week that he's going to graduate this Friday, but I HIGHLY doubt that will happen.
This morning, after about a half hour of joking around and sweet talk, I asked him "have they told you when you're going to graduate?" (I ask him because they always change his dates) and he got mad at me saying that's all I ever ask him about, how he wishes I asked him more questions about things other than his school. I said that when I ask him how his day was he never tells me anything and when I do try to talk with him he's either asleep or I don't hear from him for at least a few hours later. So I say "well how about job searching?" (he said he's looking around for other jobs) and he said the same things. I told him I don't ask those two questions everyday and that we only have a few months until we move out and we haven't done ANYTHING yet. He says I'm too stressed out and how it's months not days, and we have time. We ended up getting really frustrated with each other and we went to class (we called before school started).
I know in my heart he wants to move out of his dad's house and live on his own but I think he's just lazy and unmotivated, although he tells me that he's super excited for moving in together and can't wait. I love him dearly and I didn't want to seem like the nagging girlfriend but I honestly myself don't have a lot of time because if he ends up still in school then I have to find alternative housing (which the door is closing on me each day for that specific program) . He's a sweet guy and protective and caring but this is one of our bigger issues. I don't want to break up with him but I want him to understand that he can't be all chill about it when we have our deadline that we agreed on. Any advice? Thank you!
EDIT : I have texted my social worker about the program and she said its absolutely still available, so I might go ahead with that, I had that as my backup plan for awhile. When me and my BF hung up earlier he said to text him about the issues and I did. He DOES take time to cool off the only response I've gotten from him were some memes he sent a few minutes ago. So I guess that's better. *shrugs*
TL;DR : My BF is unmotivated to find a job so we can live together, but it's troubling because I have to move too and if he doesn't find a job I have to find alternitive housing which the deadline is closing.
submitted by wentworth0j to relationships [link] [comments]

2016.02.03 20:30 LeadExpress Looking for Infor on KWA's PTR Rifle series.

Picked one up used, Currently enroute with a delivery date of Thursday.
Mainly wondering if there is a work around for the hop-up's brass tab either by a working TDC idea, or if theres any other alternitives to the Maple leave Evo II that work well.
Barring that. Aside from you tube. are there any good Teardown guides for the lower, that arn't easly found on google?
And anyone know the outer barrel length on the full sized PTR? if its accually 14.5 and not something off like 14.7/15"? Sorry for the slew of questions, but planning on building it up as a back up to my Daytona ACR.
submitted by LeadExpress to GasBlowBack [link] [comments]

2016.01.10 22:22 Davejr8 Long story but need advice. 20/m dating a 20/f on the verge of a breakup.

So I know this is long, but I think all the information here is necessary.
Some background on my traits that may have contributed to this mess: I am protective, OCCASIONALLY insecure and jealous (like once a month if that), and a realtively friendless at my current college (transfer, many acquaintances).
This girl was like magic to me from the start. She was my friend at first, but we grew so close that I finally ended my strung along ex relatationship and started dating her. She told me she knew she loved me within a month of me asking her to be my girlfriend. Unfortunately, her past and my behaviors scared her into believing I am a controlling boyfriend, which turned her friends, family, and acquaintences against me.
Before our relationship: My gf had a troubling childhood with an emotionally neglectful/very controlling mother. She then got into a relationship with a dude who was very insecure and set rules for her, went through her messages, and told her who she could and could not talk to. I had some jealousy issues myself growing up due to a lack if self confidence, but most of those issues cleared up by the time we became friends. I come from an alcoholic single mother in poverty home, with a very distant relationship with my father, who chose to start a new family and practically abandon my brother and I. She comes from money (200k a year plus household), though her mother never gave her spending money for clothes (besides a small allowance) so she complained that she would have to save and buy her own growing up. I too had no money, but it was literally because my mother was so bad with money we were on welfare twice. She also had family issues with her step dad and a drug addicted father, who is still a big role in her life and whom she claims is one of the most loved people in her life (the other top 3 include me and her half brother).
So we have issues.
I was supportive to her from the start, and at first everything was normal. We had a great summer together, and when we returned to school things seemed to be good. I told her I lived her under the starlight on a beach in Maine. Though, she did rush to have sex with me rather speedily (4 days after her I asked her to be my gf), which I thought was unusual. She stands by the fact that I am her third only guy she slept with, and I believe her, even with the LOADS of dudes that have tried with her.
The first controlling behavior I got blamed for was letting her know how I hated the fact that she talked to this one guy. They had been sexually active (oral) just recently before our relationship, and she expressed to me how she went along with The sexual activities with him in the hopes that he would one day decide to date her. This was a red flag. I told her she either had to stop hanging out with him or I walk. Personally I couldnt handle the stress of thinking she still might have had feelings for him.
She brought this up with her friends. One of which developed strong feelings against me. Her friends are all hardcore feminists, they believe in independence as the key to life. I think that relationships require a give and take in terms of time, which her friends were growing angry at since she would spend the majority of her free time with me during the semester. I am a transfer and have few friends on campus with no car to visit my old friends at a nearby college, so they blamed my social loneliness on this fact. This only intensified when I looked to move out of my double into a single, and the only one on campus I could find was beneath her suite where her friends all lived. She thought it might have been too fast to be living so close, but my roommate was a real nuisance and I wanted to be able to have perminent piece in a single, so I went for it even knowing it might not be the best for the relationship. I asked her friends before I did this if they were okay with the move and they said yes (with exception to that one friend).
So then I moved in and we were all happy, I even hung out with her friends from time to time. Then the next "controlling behavior happened." Alot of My gfs friends are lesbians, and we hung out with this one couple and the girl we are friends with's gf was permenently checking My gf out. She would make comments frequently about her body and how beautiful she was. I let these comments slide. This girl obviously was very mean to me (saw me as competition I guess lol). One day we were hanging out I had enough and called her out on it, and she denied it claiming that "she loves her gf" and would never hit on my gf. This girl also asked us if we were open to "swapping partners." My gf defended her when I made accusations that she was hitting on my gf.
Did I mention she is a little naive?
My gf is sweet to everyone, but she can be bad at picking up certain cues. Either that or the fact that she hates confrontation made her defend the other girl. Or maybe it was her just thinking I was jealous. Idk maybe you could tell me.
So this lesbian girl who was hitting on her was always trying to play truth or dare with us. I knew exactly where this was going. She dared my gf to twerk (she has quite the booty). I called her out, angry this time. Basically my gf again defended her again, for in her mind the angry one is always wrong. So annoying. The lesbian tricked me then. I was duped! She said it was an innocent dare and then asked me if I would do it. Now I was again high, but I replied "No, Im not gay why would I do that." Now I committed hate crime. I immediately knew how stupid a response like that was. My gf ran off with the lesbians and I was left holding my dick.
Oh the best part is yet to come on that evening!
My gf's friend who hated me that I mentioned previously comes rolling out drunk and gets in my face, telling me I'm a "controlling douchebag" "insecure" you name it. I for some reason believed her. I was higb okay? I started apologizing to everyone and even shed some tears. The night ended soon after, with my gf being on watch by this drunk friend, who was about to get laid from some dude she met on tinder. (This girl is a massive slut and bitch to her ex who is in love with her, using him for sex while fucking 100 other dudes).
So the next day it was time to talk about breaking up. I was really fucking annoyed at myself for the comment I made about relating being gay with twerking, basically pissing on the gay pride rainbow the females eyes I was dealing with.
I made another comment earlier suggesting my gf should not eat an ice cream sandwich because it would not be good for her diet, which she took as me controlling her again. I simply was trying to help her with the goal she made a day before that to lose weight.
This combined with the controlling behavior from the lesbian interactions nearly broke us up. We had too much love though, and kept pushing for eachother.
Her friend who hated me quieted down eventually. I think this friend, as some of my friends agree, wants my gf to party with, and possibly hook up with (she's bi and my gf had a few hookups with her old friends).
Then I noticed my gf was being more distant, deciding to go away on school breaks, and not wanting me to go on the alternitive break trips with her that I qualified for. She then decided she did not want tk be in the same labs as me for the classes we took together next semester. Thinking back on it, maybe this was her hint that she didnt want to be with me. I made a big deal out of these blocks to see me, which led to me being called controlling, again. She would always do this after consulting the situation with her friends. I gave in and said fine after a few days of arguing. I didnt like the fact that she was pushing me away, but I can see how she wanted space for herself. The biggest kicker was her excuse for wanting to be alone was to get closer to "other people." Ill touch on this in the end of this post.
But then, everyday, she would text me constantly, say she loved me, spend hours with me when we had free time. We went on dates, hiking, and toked here and there together. I did not like her going to fraternity parties with her friends for all the dudes that would harass her, and neither did she now being in a relationship. When she went out with her friends she would leave early to hang out with me.
So now she had her predispostions to thinking I was controlling. And I hated every time she accused me of it. In my mind I was not setting rules, limiting her, or anything like that, I was just trying to enjoy time with my gf. I guess it would have been easier if she had less friends, or I had more on campus.
Then the final blow - kinda. One night after I pulled an all nighter to finish a paper and worked all day we made plans to hang out. I looked forward to this truly. She said she had hw to do but right after to come up. I played an online video game while I waited, and when she told me to come up since she was done I was only halfway finished with the game. When I completed it she moved on to other hw and did not want to spend time with me.
Now, I assumed this hw was optional, and as such when I returned to my room expressed how I thought it was a little unfair to stand me up like that. We argued for a little bit, and in the end she told me in was mandatory and that she forgot about it. I still dont think it was mandatory, for it took her an hour of replying to tell me that. Plus, I knew the assignment was for her lab professor she worked for and she had a week window to hand it in. It was the first day of the week. She was not seeing me out of spite.
The next morning we got breakfast together and, while still overtired, I had to listen to her call me controlling again. These next few actions I want to warn you do not reflect my normal non-chalant and mostly amused character. I told her "you are really going to call me controlling?" And I told her "FUCK YOU." To which a few tables near us heard me say as I stokd up and walked away. I had a rush of insecurity that morning before I said this. I counted 8 dudes stare at my gfs rear, which was disheartening for she was being cold to me and presented herself as though she was single. She walked far in front of me to not be seen as a unit. After I told her fuck you I sat far away and finished breakfast. I still watched her from a distance.
So this insecure and pissed off creature I was nearly made her extremey embarassed and pissed as well. After setting down a little bit I went to reconcile a few minutes later, saying I know I should have kept my cool, but she ignored and walked away from me. Then I was pissed again. I followed her about a hundres yards back to our dorm building, trying to talk fo her, admitting that I should have not said those words. She said nothing. I stepped in front of her a few times. She said later I "wouldnt let her escape" and that I was "stalking." Meanwhile she actually just wore a bitch face the entire time.
I questioned her and our relationship at that point, and when we went our seperate ways I knew that we would have to talk eventually, and we had class together immediately afterward. I walked to the class building alone, and she left our dorm from a back entrance because she did not want to have me follow her again. Understandable.
I texted her from the other side of the classroom which we sat far apart from eachother from the first time that semester. Wheras we used to make jokes about the professor and laugh sofltly constantly, we now were both crying to ourselves. I was the only one who reached out though. When she left the classroom after I texted her maybe 20 times apologizing and wanting to talk to her, I followed her out. She was waiting in the corridor, and as soon as she saw me told me to get away from her and she walked away. I sat back down and cried.
I continued to text her, until the point where she said "I cant do this anymore." She dumped me over a text. We talked later after she talked with her friends for five hours and confidently told me to move on. She told me to fuck other girls. I started begging for another chance. I said fuck it to my dignity I didnt want to lose this beautiful girl who was so sweet to me, and in my mind I was the root of all of our problems and was willing to change. Nothing came of it that night.
The next day was the most toruous. We sat next to eachother "as friends" in her words, treating me like one of the 100 guys she had friendzoned in the past. I gave her a written letter, as I did in the form of love notes throughout the first half of our 8 months together, providing a contract that I thought would fix my "controlling behavior." And also sincerely apologizing for the treatment I gave to her the previous day. I mentioned basically that I would leave her alone when she needed space, wouldnt argue with her on how to spend her time, and 2 others I forget.
She basically tore it up, told me we would never be.
Three hours later she tells me she had been crying through her final exam. (Yeah all this happed the first few days of finals, my grades suffered deeply). We are both pre-med's with actually shots, hers relatively better than mine, at going somewhere. She wanted me back immediately. I was only able to stop talking to her for those three hours of silence after finally admitting to my mother what had happend, to which she told me to leave it alone. Her advice worked I guess.
She had spoke with ALL her close contacts about the situation in the mean time. So now I had, and continue to have, and army of feminists who talk trash about me, her father who says no real man should make a woman feel scared (I would never in a million years hit a woman, I was raised that this is the worst thing a man can do), her brother who also disliked me (we're better now, I think he was more upset about a week earlier when he knocked on the wall signalling us to stop having sex, at which point my gf said "its just my brother keep going," and I did. He was vividly pissed when we walked out of her room), and her still concerned aunt, who lauren thinks of like a second mother. So now everyone feels the true me is this angry controlling feeblish asshole.
I waited the entire weekend before the start of regular finals to drown in sorrow on our owns before I would take her back on Sunday night. I came to her room to get my things, saw all my pictures were replaced on her wall with those of her dads and friends, with one portrait of me from my hs football days still on her bedstand.
I told her, "want me to take this?" And she went frantic. I could tell she deeply cared for me. She cried so much that her tear glands were popping out of her skull. I shed maybe 2 tears after I knew she wanted me back on Friday.
We got back together, had sex immediately, finished finals, and had a pretty good winter break. We made progress converting the thoughts of some of her close contacts about me, but many still are wary that I am wrong for her, or dont deserve her, or whatever for my actions that day. She left for one of the trips I was told I could not go on (which would have helped my resume for med school). Seven days into the trip (today) she tells me she is doubting us again. She has been talking with some girls on the trip she was acquaintences with before they had departed (a club trip), and they have apparently convinced her I will be a controlling boyfriend in the future. Probably because she told them every detail of my lowest day of the year, the one I know I should have been cooler about.
I have talked to people who have noticed I put everything aside for this girl, which I would have no problem doing if I got equal return in effort. Things that would make her life better always were a priority, and I guess at some point she decided I wasn't the biggest one, while I comtinued to put aside nearly everything to be with this girl and to make her happy.
Its ambiguous where we stand now. Its pretty obvious in my mind she does not value me as she used to and will dump me again, so Im think about ending it on my own terms. But I question it from time to time with her acts of love. Maybe a few months, years apart will tell us if we are truly meant to be together.
I want to know from you what you think of this mess. Is it clear that I am to be blamed for the catstrophy to our relationship? Or do you think, like I do, that the situation and my gfs history played a larger role than my actions.
submitted by Davejr8 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2015.08.27 19:45 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: We're a bunch of developers from IBM, ask us anything!

Verified? (This bot cannot verify AMAs just yet)
Date: 2015-08-27
Link to submission (Has self-text)
Questions Answers
What language do you guys use the most? and feel is the most useful? In the Mobile space this is a constantly evolving answer as new technologies and frameworks come out. However, at the moment I would say JavaScript is the most popular. From a native coding perspective you always have Java and Obj-C (Swift) but Ionic, JQuery, Sencha, etc. are all JavaScript based and developers have serverside runtimes like Node.js for API's. So developers have been flocking to JavaScript due to its portability and numerous open source frameworks. -- Steve.
Java is my most used language in my IBM career, but I try to not have one "go to" language. Different tools for different jobs. I tend to write my UI apps in PHP, API's in Node.js and Java EE for backend or end to end applications. --Ram.
Honestly it seems like every new team I talk to is using another language... the great thing is that more and more languages are appearing to solve specific problems in response to the way business problems are changing. I ran across an article the other day that talks about top languages on Github Link to I also ran across a book I liked called "7 languages in 7 weeks" (there's actually an update to that book). I like how it helps you think about the characteristics irrespective of what's popular or what's a staple in the industry. I'd suggest that the more you know about the problem you want to solve, and the more you investigate the characteristics different languages are meant to solve, the easier it'll become for you to start making choices about what tools you'll find will best solve the problems you're targeting. - Richard.
What is the worst piece of software you've worked on and why is it Lotus Notes? I dont think any of the IBM devs here have worked on Lotus Notes. Sometimes we'll work on a project and it'll get canned, that's probably were you'll get the actual response to the question.
'It was so bad we canned it'
I personally dont get all the hate for Notes. The client, while sometimes slow, has never gotten in the way of me doing what I want to do with it. Which is sending and receiving emails and Sametime 99% of the time. I have verse which i can access from in browser, but I still have notes for other tasks. All of which it does without issue.
That's not to say that people dont have problems with it. I may be in the minority. I sometimes feel like hating on notes is a bit like hating on coldplay (which was a big thing in the UK for a while).
I'm not a seller, and I dont know what tactics are being used for companies to purchase notes. Though if you're unhappy with it, you should probably be encouraging alternatives that fill all of your companies needs, though Your 1st port of call should be to raise a support ticket.
I know that exchange is without its faults (having worked for a tech support company that looked after small-medium sized companies) and other alternitives have their problems too.
If the grass isnt greener, then it's time to make yourself a billionaire ;)
I personally dont get all the hate for Notes. The client, while sometimes slow, has never gotten in the way of me doing what I want to do with it. I can only talk about my experience, which is a boring non-eventful application doing what I want it to do. Part of me wishes I could empathize better with the situations, seemingly, masses of user have been in. I dont work on Notes or Sametime, but I'm going to talk to people who do. I'm not high up or anything, but at least I'd get a clearer picture as to whats going on when (and it seems like it will be a when) I meet someone face to face and they mention how they're frustrated with the software. Not much else I can do right now. :-/ ~Joshua.
As someone who used to be forced to use the bloated crapware that is Lotus Notes, this is like saying the Trabant was a good car because, while sometimes slow, it never got in the way of them driving from place A to place B (provided you were an expert mechanic).
What has been the most frustrating moment of your career so far? I can't say there's been any one frustrating moment... (frankly there have been a few). For me "frustrating moments" are really the wake-up call that reminds me I have to really focus on the problem. That feeling of frustration is also a bookmark that keeps me from forgetting what I learned. I find that if I'm not periodically frustrated, I'm not learning and growing... - Richard.
This is probably a bit of a BS interview answer, so i apologize in advance..! It's fresh in my mind because I've literally just got out of a meeting with my manager about this very subject.
In the role that I have I get the opportunity to work on fun and interesting projects. But in return I have lots of colleagues who want me to help and chip in with their projects too. I'm the author of my own demise because I DESPISE saying no to projects - espc. when they seem fun and valuable to both me and IBM. It's lead to far too many evenings working at 3am and days wondering why I'm so tired.
I've only been with the company 4 years, undoubtedly there will be frustrating times ahead.
Project management methodologies: some work with specific deliverables, some don't. Does IBM embrace specific ones, such as Agile, Scrum, Waterfall, others as corporate mandated, de facto methodologies? Or based on how the engineering team/group is managed? Having spoken to different development teams for different products, there doesn't appear to be any mandated methodology though things like agile and devops have been adopted virally and are used heavily. Interestingly, it can be different when we work with large customer organizations. I find that with customer who have hundreds (if not thousands) of projects located in different parts of global organizations, they often have different processes like waterfall, agile, and some variations of both working across different parts of the organization. Our tools often consider different methods customers have and help them to communicate project status even though they're working with different methodologies. - Richard.
I dont know a single one of your apps, do you think you have a PR-problem? IBM has many products across a number of areas... you can find them here: Link to You may be familiar with some of them depending on what type of software you typically interact with. If you're an enterprise developer you may have heard of things like IBM Websphere Application Server, or our DB2 Database. There are certainly many other products as IBM continues to explore and evolve new types of technology in response to the IT challenges of our customers - Richard.
I suppose, the 1st thing is that we dont typically make consumer applications. But It may also depend on what part of the tech sector you work in.
The quick and dirty way of describing IBM is that we make 'stuff' that lets others make 'stuff'.
In the same way that you probably dont know how made the pipes that connect from your boiler to your taps. It doesnt mean that the pipes are not important.
And sometimes it's often technology that we've open sourced that you're using. have a quick google of MQTT and Facebook messenger as an easy example.
What programming languages do you guys dabble in? I'm a network admin student and starting to program as a hobby and possibly to expand my skillset. (this is a copy paste from a previous comment, but I wanted you to see it too)
I would suggest not finding a language, but finding a project that you want to create. Then pick the most suitable language for that project. Want to do an IoT home automation project with bluetooth sensors and a pi. Well then, Javascript (node.js) is probably the best lang for that.
You see, to truly learn a language (not just programming) you need a reason to keep using it. No point learning C++ because you "should". Learn a lang because it makes your life better.
Once you have the concept down, picking up other languages is much easier. Then what I would suggest you do is find another project in a different language on a place like GitHub, fork it and make it your own. That way you'll get to understand how other people code, appreciate the nuances in their programming, as well as pick up some (hopefully) good habits, like commenting and spacing.
I'm a computer science major in my freshmen year right now and need to know, what should I do to get into hardware development? What languages should I learn? I would suggest not finding a language, but finding a project that you want to create. Then pick the most suitable language for that project. Want to do an IoT home automation project with bluetooth sensors and a pi. Well then, Javascript (node.js) is probably the best lang for that.
You see, to truly learn a language (not just programming) you need a reason to keep using it. No point learning C++ because you "should". Learn a lang because it makes your life better.
Once you have the concept down, picking up other languages is much easier. Then what I would suggest you do is find another project in a different language on a place like GitHub, fork it and make it your own. That way you'll get to understand how other people code, appreciate the nuances in their programming, as well as pick up some (hopefully) good habits, like commenting and spacing.
For someone wanting to enter the tech world such as myself, what do you recommend to a college freshman? I'm thinking web development, but I'm not too sure. What's your advice? I'd recommend you learn as much as you can about good engineering principals and development overall. Consider that a part of web development is building a user interface. Often a "website" has lots of other capabilities even if we don't consider that there may be applications running in the background. Get comfortable with languages, databases, application design and operating systems. Keep an eye on development trends to see what types of problems are being solved, with what technology (and why). But work hard at learning the basics... they'll always be valuable! -- Richard.
I think you should start a good pet project. Ideally an application which has both a mobile and web front end and talks to a backend server with a database. --Ram.
Do you guys use model m's? The sound those things made! Massive nostalgia right there!
I think most of the company is either on Lenovo's W series or Macbooks. The latter having their own distinct sounding keyboard, always know when someone is on a macbook when im on a train or a plane without having to turn around.
Though I'm sure if I went looking I could dig up a whole safe's worth of model M's somewhere.
Actually where I work has an IBM museum with a whole bunch of old hardware. though my fave has to be the butterfly keyboard.
When is Watson going to be my doctor? Watson will never be your doctor!
It will be a trusted adviser, though.
Last updated: 2015-08-31 17:26 UTC
This post was generated by a robot! Send all complaints to epsy.
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2015.01.12 20:46 Fenril3371 netflixaroundtheworld still up to date?[Meta]

it seams a little out dated and i couldnt really find an alternitive. Do you guys know any?
thank you in advance for your help :)
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2012.07.27 01:06 Chelta Can you help kickstart a young creative startup via indiegogo?

_Shift Indiegogo
Shift is an internship programme; disguised as an innovation lab, ran like a creative agency. Over the next few months the team will have their heads down, underpaid and malnourished challenging traditional methods of creativity and encouraging cross-discipline collaboration to explore and uncover new ways of thinking. But we're not doing this for ourselves, we want to share it with you and the world as much as possible!
To do so we're planning on holding a one of a kind event to showcase this new thinking, streamed live across the web from a leading UK venue, exhibits and a mass workshop will engage those lucky enough to attend and others interacting online. Guest speakers, unique collaborative performances and an after party to end all after parties will complete a night to remember.
For those who can't attend we will be producing the 1st edition of 'white paper' a must have publication documenting our early trails, tribulations and triumphs. Acompanying that will be a DVD featuring our findings, exclusive interviews, coverage of our event and much more. But we need your support to help make this a success, help invest in the future of the creative industry, get involved and help us take creativity forward.
All you have to do to show your support is treat yourself to one of our perks! >>>
Please Note: We'll be updating this page regurlarly with more information on our perks, so keep popping back.
What should I expect...
Expect something different, expect unusual, insightful and the embarrasingly obvios, from rap battling to develop slogans or uncovering methods on how to thought shower with the world - this is fun, it works and we call it 'new thinking'.
What exactly is Shift then...
Shift is an open studio that provides internship and placement opportunities to emerging creative talent. Providing an inspirational co-working environment for a dynamic mix of emerging talent to create, innovate and collaborate on live projects. The studio shares skill sets, excitement, resources, ambition and the simple requirements of a creative studio.
Its output will include work from its founding partner Studio Precept, undertake community lead projects, competition briefs, culture shift research and independent projects commissioned to the studio. It's mission is to explore new working methods in branding, emerging technologies and multi-channel media as an ever evolving agency model. Its findings will be used to inspire creativity and encourage innovation - in turn becoming a catalyst for improving education, inspiring entrepreneurship and creating jobs.
Right, so who's behind it...
Shift was founded by Nick Johnson, MD of creative agency, Studio Precept. Driven by a niggling urge to take projects beyond the brief, his desire to empathise and to do the right thing in giving something back and creating opportunities. Shift was born from good morals and it's ethos is not to do things right - but to do the right thing.
Nick truly believes that innovation begins with people having fun and that aspiration breeds innovation. Through pairing vivid imagination with a collective vision we believe we can create and define a brighter future. Shift it is not at all about productivity but impact, not excellence but significance and unearthing something new.
Alongside Nick you'll find co-founder and Shift Studio Manager Andrew Kilburn and the studio's current trio of team leaders; James McCaughan (New Media), David Carr (Copywriter) and Carl Storey (Art Director). Followed by our current army of change makers; Mark (Creative), Josh (Creative), Wes (Editorial), Rachel (Product), Sam P (Designer), Sam H (Graphics) and Alex (IllustratoAnimator).
Shift will evolve organically as we look to expand and as our interns one by one move on into full time employment. So much so we're currently in the process of building a diverse team of interns, collaborators and mentors to get involved with our projects and our up and coming event. If that could be you, please don't hesitate to contact Andrew andy(at) to get involved. You can also keep up to date with our progress and help us spread the word on twitter, follow us @weare_shift
Great, so where will the money go...
The $15,000 (or whatever we raise) will help make our vision for the 'Taking Creativity Forward' event a reality and allow us to produce and amazing publication in our first edition of 'white label'. We're not in this to make a profit, but any remaining proceeds from the event will simply go towards the running costs of the Shift studio, it's tech needs and basic office equipment. If we exceed our expectations and we raise more than our target, we’ll reinvest back into the internship programme to give further opportunities to emerging creative talent.
Finally, what does the future hold for Shift...
As well as an innovation lab Shift is available to clients and brands just like any other agency; however, they will be getting something completely new and often unexpected - and becasue it's ran by interns it's really cost effective too. Through this unique approach we hope to build a finanically stable internship programme, offering a fantastic service that covers it's costs and continues to provide fantastic opportunities to emerging talent. In addition we want to continue to showcase this talent and our findings through running more events and producing further 'white paper' publications.
We’re 100% committed to making Shift a huge sucess over the coming months, and have put a lot of blood, sweat and tears in to get this far. We see a future where Shift is self funded but first we need your help to get Shift off the ground!
So please get involved, do your bit to support new thinking and for the future of the creative industries - help us take creativity forward.
If the perks don't work for you then contact andy(at) to offer alternitive forms of support. Every little counts and a 'Good Luck' message will go a long way.
Thanks for reading, pretty please share this link at the top of the page.
Kind Regards - The Shift team :)
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2012.04.18 20:30 Zenie GF opposed to BC. How do I convince her?

Hey all, my gf and I have been dating a year now. We regularly use condoms. I'd like to have her go on birth control but I'm not sure how to ask. She's the sort of person that doesn't like taking medicine for a headache because of "side effects".
Every time I bring up the idea of bc, she instantly says no because she thinks the side effects from it outweigh the benefits. She thinks it will effect her body badly. In the past, we had an "oops" and she took the morning after pill. It ended up completely bypassing her period for that month. So I guess she's right in a way that it might effect her body badly. I'm trying to not be pushy about it at all. We are not so dilligent on always using a condom, and it's going to bite us in the butt sooner or later which makes me nervous. I'm trying to be more dilligent on wrapping up right away. But sometimes we just get started and 10minutes in I finally put one on. Which is not good.
I was wondering if anyone could give some advice on convincing her politely that it's worthwhile. Or at least trying it out or being open to alternitives.
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